This afternoon I feel anxious for no good reason. It is hard to breathe and I have a knot in my chest.
I am beginning to feel numb and empty inside. I am very bored and feel empty. I feel as though if I keep feeling numb and empty that it will soon develop into depression.
I feel like my life is not full, there are lots of things I could be doing, but have got used to doing not much. It takes a lot of energy out of me to do the simple things.
I hope these feelings lift soon. I have to distract myself and not let the depression hit me. But you cannot help when the depression comes, it hits you like a brick, and before your know it you are feeling hopeless and suicidal. I never want to get sick again.
I am going to ask Mel to briefly write a synopsis of where she is 9 years later, here Mel is:
ReplyDeleteI am still alive. I have been married to Paul for almost 8 years. My children are 20, 17 and 14 they are healthy and very happy. I am so proud of them. We have three cats.
I honestly believe I have bipolar 2. Not a personality disorder. Since 2004 I have had episodes of depression.The main medication I am on now is a large dose of mirtazapine......
Life goes on. ( To be continued).